Derek Hagen, CFA, CFP®, FBS®, CFT™
“Master your instrument, master the music, and then forget all that and just play.”
-Charlie Parker
Even the most free-flowing conversations benefit from a familiar structure—especially in financial life planning.
If you’ve ever seen jazz musicians or jam bands perform, you’ve no doubt noticed that there is a structure to a known song at the start. Then, all of a sudden, you don’t recognize what they’re playing. They are going with the flow, exploring the music, and having a musical conversation with one another. Eventually, they come back to the familiar song. In fact, it’s likely that the jam didn’t move too far from the song (although some artists are able to deviate further from the base song). And they always bring it back to the song.
In much the same way, Money Quotient tools provide structure to your client conversations. You might have an agenda, and when the conversation deviates from your plan, which it will no doubt do, leaning on the MQ materials gives you a “song” to return to.
This can be particularly helpful for advisors who worry about conversations getting derailed or going in an unhelpful direction.
Conversation Styles
Advisors may be uncomfortable with conversations going in a direction they didn’t expect because of their preferred conversation style. There are three main conversational styles: directing, following, and guiding.
Many advisors are familiar with the directing approach. In this approach, you lead the conversation. You are in charge and are essentially telling the client what to do. Think of this like how a typical attorney operates. You go to see an attorney usually because you need them to tell you what to do.
With a following of approach, the client takes the lead. This is a common approach if you were listening to a close friend who wanted to tell you something. There is no structure or agenda, and you go where the client goes.
An advisor might be unwilling to give up a directing conversational style because they fear the following approach. It seems unproductive to let the client talk about whatever they want to talk about when they have a meeting.
This is where the in-between styles comes in. The guiding style is where you are thinking partners, working as a team to move toward where the client wants to go. With the guiding style, you have a direction without being directive.
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Leaning on the Process
Still, even with a guiding conversation style, conversations can go in many different directions. Most people haven’t been truly listened to and when someone finally finds themselves in the presence of a good listener, they may find that they talk more than they thought they would and that the conversation may get off topic (or not, perhaps they uncover something important that you didn’t yet know).
Nonetheless, having a structured process in place using tools like Money Quotient’s materials gives you something to lean on, especially when you are first getting started implementing a life centered, values focused approach to financial planning and haven’t had much practice.
Using a process like Money Quotient’s True Wealth Process helps you keep the conversation on track without it sounding like an uncomfortable interrogation. It helps give you direction without being directive. You always have the song to come back to.
FAQ: Helping Clients Through Exploratory Conversations
What does it mean to “bring it back to the song” in client conversations?
It refers to returning to the core structure of a financial life planning process—like revisiting a central melody in music—to keep conversations purposeful, even when they meander.
Why do conversations with clients sometimes feel off track?
Because clients naturally bring emotion, transitions, and uncertainty. These aren’t detours—they’re often the real content. The challenge is knowing how to guide them without forcing the direction.
How can advisors balance structure and improvisation?
By mastering the process tools and frameworks first, then learning how to adapt in the moment—just like a musician practices scales before improvising.
In this short video, I explain how Money Quotient’s tools can help you stay grounded—so even when client conversations veer off track, you always have something to come back to.
Want to Learn More?
Money Quotient trains financial professionals in the True Wealth process and helps them implement the concepts into their practices. The first step is to learn about the Fundamentals of True Wealth Planning.
References and Influences
Klontz, Brad, Rick Kahler & Ted Klontz: Facilitating Financial Health
Miller, William: Listening Well
Miller, William & Stephen Rollnick: Motivational Interviewing
Pennebaker, James & Joshua Smyth: Opening Up by Writing It Down
Sofer, Oren Jay: Say What You Mean
Solin, Dan: Ask