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“There’s a difference between listening and waiting for your turn to speak.”

-Simon Sinek

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Advice doesn’t built trust. Listening does.

Why Listening Is So Powerful

When I first learned about client communication, one of the most eye-opening lessons was this: listen to help clients feel understood before offering any solutions.

At the time, that idea felt revolutionary. I had always assumed clients would appreciate how quickly I could find answers. I thought speed meant skill.

But Theodore Roosevelt had it right:

“People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”

When I started using software that tracked how much I spoke versus how much clients spoke, I was shocked to discover I dominated the conversation… and not by a small margin.

It was humbling.

From that moment on, I committed to training myself to become a better listener. Over time, I discovered that a handful of skills—what I call the 20% that gets you 80% of the results—make the biggest difference. They’re simple in theory, but powerful in practice.

Get Comfortable With Silence

When a conversation flows, one person talks and the other responds almost instantly. But in professional settings, silence often sneaks in between thoughts.

And we hate it.

We even gave it a name: awkward silence. Most people rush to fill it, worried it means something has gone wrong.

Part of this comes from our negativity bias, our tendency to interpret things more negatively than they are. If a client doesn’t immediately respond to a question, we might assume we made them uncomfortable or asked something unclear.

But often, the silence means something else: you’ve asked a question they’ve never thought about before. They need time to reflect.

If you jump in to restate the question or offer an example, you interrupt their thought process and risk derailing the very insight they were forming.

One thing you might try is, after asking a reflective question, silently count to five before saying anything.

Use the pause to observe nonverbal cues. Do they look confused or thoughtful? Are they disengaging or going inward? You won’t always read it perfectly, but the effort to hold space makes a difference.

Getting comfortable with silence is one of the most underrated communication skills an advisor can develop. It’s the space where reflection and transformation happen.

Resist the Righting Reflex

Once clients start sharing their thoughts and emotions, our instincts kick in. We want to help. We want to fix.

After all, giving advice is what we do.

But Marty Kurtz once said something every advisor should remember:

“Advice kills conversation.”

That doesn’t mean we never give advice. It means that when we do it too early, it shuts down exploration. It says, “I already know enough about you to decide what you should do.”

There’s a reason it’s often said that unsolicited advice is the junk mail of life.

That’s why motivational interviewing calls it the righting reflex, which is the urge to make things right before understanding them fully.

Even if your advice is technically correct, it won’t land unless the client is emotionally ready to hear it. Understanding must come before instruction.

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Lead With Curiosity

If silence and restraint are the skills, curiosity is the mindset that ties them together.

Curiosity shifts your focus from reacting to understanding. It lets you approach each client with genuine interest rather than assumptions.

Instead of thinking, Why aren’t they following the plan?, curiosity asks, What might be going on for them right now?

The best advisors are detectives, not judges. Detectives don’t assume they know the answer; they collect clues to understand what’s true.

There’s a saying that “the things you don’t know are more important than the things you do.” Curiosity helps you discover those things.

The Conversation Advantage: How Better Listening Builds Trust

None of this requires a certification in therapy or a degree in psychology. It just requires intention.

When you master silence, curiosity, and the discipline to hold back advice until the time is right, you create a space where clients feel deeply heard.

That’s the foundation of trust, and trust is what turns advice into action.

FAQ: Communication Skills for Financial Advisors

Why is listening so important in financial advising?

Listening helps clients feel understood. When clients feel heard, they open up about their goals and fears, which leads to better advice and stronger trust.

What is the “righting reflex” in client conversations?

The righting reflex is the urge to fix problems too soon. Advisors who resist it allow clients to explore their thoughts first, creating space for deeper insight.

How can silence improve communication?

Pausing after reflective questions gives clients time to think. What feels like awkward silence is often where reflection and transformation begin.

What role does curiosity play in advisor communication?

Curiosity turns judgment into understanding. It shifts the focus from “fixing” to exploring, helping advisors uncover what truly drives client behavior.

Do advisors need psychology training to use these skills?

No. It just takes intention. Listening, curiosity, and restraint are skills any advisor can practice to build trust and turn good advice into action.

Want to Learn More?

Money Quotient trains financial professionals in the True Wealth process and helps them implement the concepts into their practices. The first step is to learn about the Fundamentals of True Wealth Planning.

References and Influences

Klontz, Brad, Rick Kahler & Ted Klontz: Facilitating Financial Health

Miller, William: Listening Well

Miller, William & Stephen Rollnick: Motivational Interviewing

Newcomb, Sarah: Loaded

Rosenberg, Marshall: Nonviolent Communication

Sofer, Oren Jay: Say What You Mean

Solin, Dan: Ask