Derek Hagen, CFA, CFP®, FBS®, CFT™

“The same view you look at every day, the same life, can become something brand new by focusing on its gifts rather than the negative aspects.”

-Bronnie Ware

You can’t eliminate negativity, but you can help clients widen their focus.

The Pull of the Negative: Why Clients Focus on What’s Wrong

Clients rarely come to us because everything is going perfectly. They reach out when something feels off; when they’re worried, uncertain, or disappointed.

It’s easy to notice that some clients seem stuck on what’s wrong. Their lives might look stable from the outside, yet they fixate on the one thing that isn’t working. Advisors sometimes find themselves wondering, “Don’t they see how good they have it?”

But this isn’t just personality, it’s biology. Every client (and every one of us) comes wired with a built-in negativity bias.

Person looking through a filter labeled “Negativity Bias,” focusing only on bad despite many good experiences.

The Science Behind Negativity Bias: Why Bad Experiences Stick

Our ancestors had to pay close attention to what could harm them. Missing a threat meant not surviving long enough to pass on their genes.

In evolutionary terms, it was better to mistake a stick for a snake than a snake for a stick. The cost of a false alarm was embarrassment; the cost of a missed threat was everything.

That survival instinct hasn’t gone away. It’s just been repurposed. Today, instead of physical danger, we fixate on financial worries, social comparisons, or future uncertainties.

Sketch of a seesaw with more “BAD” balls outweighing “GOOD” ones, illustrating negativity bias in perception.

Author Rick Hanson describes this perfectly in Hardwiring Happiness. He writes that the brain is like Velcro for negative experiences. They stick instantly. And the brain is like Teflon for positive experiences. They bounce right off.

Drawing of a brain with sad faces labeled “Velcro for negative experiences,” highlighting how bad memories stick.

We do experience positive events, but unless we consciously hold onto them, they don’t leave much of an imprint.

Brain illustration with happy faces sliding off, labeled “Teflon for positive experiences,” depicting bias toward negativity.

Gratitude: How to Train the Brain to Notice What’s Working

One of the most effective ways to counter negativity bias is through gratitude.

Without an intentional gratitude practice, we’re at the mercy of that ancient wiring. Gratitude helps clients (and us) zoom out, see the full context of their lives, and recognize what’s already working.

Stick figure on stairs with a scribbled thought bubble, showing mental overwhelm in early behavior change.

At first, gratitude may feel awkward or forced, especially for analytical clients who live in their heads. But it doesn’t have to be ceremonial. Simple awareness works: noticing one thing each day that went right, or one person who made their day easier.

Left shows messy short steps; right shows clear tall staircase, comparing short-term overwhelm to long-term growth.

Gratitude isn’t about pretending life is perfect. It’s about balancing the scale.

Left seesaw tipped by bad; right shows balance after adding good via gratitude, depicting mindset shift through gratitude.

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Affirmations: How Advisors Can Reframe Client Stories

For advisors, gratitude can feel personal, like something you might practice privately but hesitate to introduce in client work.

A more natural entry point is through affirmations, the “A” in the OARS skills from Motivational Interviewing. Affirmations are about highlighting strengths, effort, or progress, rather than pointing out what’s missing.

Consider a client who didn’t complete every piece of homework you assigned. Instead of focusing on what didn’t get done, affirm what they did accomplish:

“You followed through on the hardest part. That took real persistence.”

It’s subtle but powerful. Affirmations help clients feel capable, not broken.

Affirming progress also connects to another MI concept, change talk. When you reflect back a client’s own words about actions they’ve taken, it reinforces a sense of agency and forward motion.

And that’s the antidote to negativity: helping clients see evidence that they are already moving in the right direction.

Flashlight labeled “Affirmations” shining on “What They Did” instead of “What They Didn’t Do,” showing positive focus.

A Shift in Focus: From Fixing the Plan to Seeing the Progress

It’s easy to feel discouraged when you (or your clients) see only what’s missing—what’s undone, uncertain, or imperfect.

But helping clients notice what’s working doesn’t just change their outlook. It changes their engagement.

By affirming effort, acknowledging progress, and encouraging reflection, we help clients rebalance the story they’re telling themselves.

Because sometimes, the real breakthrough isn’t in fixing the plan. It’s in helping someone see that it’s not all bad.

FAQ: Combatting Negativity Bias in Financial Planning

What is negativity bias?

Negativity bias is the brain’s tendency to focus more on negative events than positive ones. It helped our ancestors survive—but it can distort how clients view their lives today.

Why do clients focus on what’s wrong?

Clients come to advisors when they feel worried or uncertain. The brain’s “Velcro for bad, Teflon for good” wiring makes it easy to overlook what’s already working.

How can gratitude help counter negativity bias?

Gratitude shifts attention from what’s missing to what’s present. Even simple practices—like noticing one thing that went right each day—help retrain the brain toward balance.

What role do affirmations play in client conversations?

Affirmations highlight strengths, effort, and progress. Reflecting a client’s own “change talk” reinforces capability and helps them see evidence of growth.

How can advisors apply this in practice?

Acknowledge what’s working before addressing what’s missing. Use reflective listening, affirm effort, and invite clients to notice small wins—they’ll start seeing more good on their own.

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Money Quotient trains financial professionals in the True Wealth process and helps them implement the concepts into their practices. The first step is to learn about the Fundamentals of True Wealth Planning.