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“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”

-William Shakespeare, Hamlet

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As financial life planners, we often witness our clients labeling their circumstances—past choices, current situations, or market outcomes—as either “good” or “bad.” But what if those judgments are less about objective truth and more about the lens they’re looking through?

Consider the story of the Chinese farmer:

When his horse ran away, his neighbors exclaimed, “What bad luck!”

The farmer replied, “Maybe.”

The next day, the horse returned with three wild horses. “How fortunate!” said the neighbors.

“Maybe,” replied the farmer.

Later, the farmer’s son broke his leg trying to tame one of the wild horses. “That’s awful!”

“Maybe,” he said again.

And when the army came to draft young men but passed over the injured son, the neighbors called it “lucky.”

The farmer? Still: “Maybe.”

This parable reminds us that judgment is often premature. What looks like a setback today may open a door tomorrow—and vice versa. As professionals helping clients make sense of their lives and financial decisions, this matters.

The Filters We Don’t Know We’re Wearing

Our clients experience life as the protagonist of their own story. That’s human nature—we all do. And when something happens “out there,” it doesn’t enter their consciousness directly. It passes through a filter: their lived experience, their values, their past, and yes, their judgments.

Imagine two nature documentaries. One features a starving lion finally catching an antelope—viewers cheer with relief. The next highlights a vulnerable, lost antelope that gets taken down by a lion—viewers mourn the tragedy. Same event. Different lens. Different protagonist.

Now consider a client who loses a job. One might call it a crisis; another sees it as a liberation. The event is neutral. It’s the filter that defines its meaning.

Judgment doesn’t just shape perception. It influences how we feel and how we act. A client may feel sadness and frustration—but then judge those emotions as weak or inappropriate. They may feel gratitude—but dismiss it because they “should” feel something else.

This is where judgment creates a gap between what is felt and what is expected.

This gap can cause disconnection—from the moment, from themselves, and from their goals. In planning, this disconnect can derail conversations. A client may judge themselves for not saving enough, not being “good with money,” or feeling conflicted about helping adult children. And we, as planners, can fall into the same trap—judging their progress, their emotions, or even our own effectiveness.

Practicing Nonjudgmental Awareness

This is where mindfulness becomes a powerful ally—not just for clients, but for us.

Letting go of value judgments doesn’t mean ignoring pain or pretending everything is fine. It means being present with what is. When we invite clients to “sit with” discomfort or uncertainty without immediately labeling it, we create space for clarity. When we do the same in our own practice, we become more attuned to what’s really unfolding in the room.

We still help clients envision better futures. We still prepare, plan, and protect. But we do so from a place of clarity, not compulsion. From acceptance, not avoidance.

“It is what it is” may sound like resignation. But in the spirit of the Chinese farmer, it can also be a radical kind of wisdom.

Want to Learn More?

Money Quotient trains financial professionals in the True Wealth process and helps them implement the concepts into their practices. The first step is to learn about the Fundamentals of True Wealth Planning.

References and Influences

Dalai Lama & Howard Cutler: The Art of Happiness

Gillihan, Seth: Mindful Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Hanh, Thich Nhat: You Are Here

Hanson, Rick & Richard Mendius: Buddha’s Brain

Harris, Dan: 10% Happier

Harris, Sam: Waking Up