Summaries: Helping Clients Hear Themselves

Derek Hagen, CFA, CFP®, FBS®, CFT™

“Summarizing is an act of respect. It shows you were listening and you care enough to make meaning out of their words.”

-unknown

Motivational Interviewing cofounder William Miller once said, “Change talk is like a flower. A summary is like a bouquet.” I can picture it. A single comment, insight, or emotion is like a flower—simple, meaningful, but easy to miss. When we offer a thoughtful summary, we gather those moments and arrange them into something that’s hard to ignore: a bouquet. It’s something the client can see—and feel.

That’s the power of a good summary.

The “S” in OARS

If you’ve been working on your OARS skills (Open-ended questions, Affirmations, Reflections, Summaries), you may have noticed that summaries can sometimes get overlooked. Open-ended questions are obvious. Reflections are in the name. Affirmations come naturally once you start spotting strengths.

But summaries? They can feel like a formal technique—or worse, like you’re giving a speech.

Yet a well-timed, authentic summary doesn’t sound rehearsed. It sounds like listening.

drawing of motivational interviewing OARS skills

Subscribe for Updates

Get notified when the latest articles are published.

Designing Summaries

Summaries aren’t just for proving you’re paying attention. They’re not only for checking understanding—though they do that too. A good summary helps clients hear themselves more clearly than they could before. And that clarity can spark confidence, insight, and even action.

There’s no strict rule about when to summarize, but it’s especially helpful:

  • After a long or emotional explanation – to offer a breather and help the client process
  • When the topic shifts – to acknowledge what was just said before moving on
  • When you’re unsure where the client stands – to test your understanding and invite clarification
  • Before offering advice – to make sure you’re still aligned

Summarizing isn’t about repeating everything. It’s about selectively gathering what mattered most—what was said, how it was said, why it matters—and reflecting it back with clarity and care.

So, what makes a good summary?

A good summary may include:

  • Key themes in the client’s own words—especially values, motivations, or emotions
  • Both sides of ambivalence—if they’re torn, name both perspectives
  • Affirmations and reflections you’ve already offered—bundled to reinforce progress
  • A soft invitation forward—often using, “Did I get that right?” or “What would you add?”

Summaries help clients organize their thoughts, feel seen, and re-engage with what’s most important to them.

If you’re new to summarizing, you don’t need to create a whole bouquet right away. Start by noticing one flower — one moment of meaning or insight from the client — and reflect it back near the end of a conversation.

Then try two flowers.

Then three.

Over time, you’ll be able to tie together an entire conversation into a handful of well-placed sentences.

And your clients will feel it.

They’ll feel heard.

They’ll feel clearer.

And often, they’ll feel more ready to take the next step.

Want to Learn More?

Money Quotient trains financial professionals in the True Wealth process and helps them implement the concepts into their practices. The first step is to learn about the Fundamentals of True Wealth Planning.

References and Influences

Miller, William: Listening Well

Miller, William: On Second Thought 

Miller, William & Stephen Rollnick: Motivational Interviewing

Rosenberg, Marshall: Nonviolent Communication

Sofer, Oren Jay: Say What You Mean