Derek Hagen, CFA, CFP®, FBS®, CFT™

“The same wave can be a source of pain or a beautiful, flowing grace and source of power. It’s all a matter of how we respond to it.”

-Trey Anastasio

I once had the opportunity to explore the Grand Canyon on a six-day rafting trip down the Colorado River. Having experienced a shorter trip before, I was excited for this longer adventure—especially with my wife. I remembered the thrill of cold water on a hot day, and I anticipated warm, sunny weather that would perfectly complement the canyon’s scenery.

Instead, it rained almost every day. I had packed for hot weather, yet the rain was cold, the clouds blocked the sun, and even the downpour itself felt harsh. It would have been easy to be upset—after all, why couldn’t the weather be better on a once-in-a-lifetime trip?

But rather than dwelling on disappointment, I chose to find the bright side. Despite the rain, I was still inside the majestic Grand Canyon for a full week. The persistent rain created stunning waterfalls and even fostered camaraderie among our group, as we shared a collective gripe about the weather. There’s a world of difference between saying, “I’m on the trip of a lifetime, but it’s raining,” and, “I’m on the trip of a lifetime, and it’s raining, so I’m going to appreciate these waterfalls.”

The Unpredictability of Life

In our role as financial advisors, we know that the future is rarely predictable. Just as the weather can unexpectedly change during a rafting trip, so too can the circumstances our clients face—whether it’s market volatility, shifting personal situations, or unforeseen life events. Much of what happens is out of our control. Embracing what is, rather than resisting it, allows us to remain present with our clients and adapt our strategies in real time.

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Acceptance and Action: Moving from “But” to “And” to “So”

Language shapes our mindset. The word “but” has a way of canceling out everything that comes before it. For example, saying, “I’m on vacation, but it’s raining,” negates the positive aspect of being on vacation. Similarly, “I have an agenda with my client, but they want to talk about something else,” implies a failure to meet expectations.

In contrast, the word “and” embraces both realities without judgment. Saying, “I’m on vacation, and it’s raining,” accepts both truths. Likewise, “I have an agenda with my client, and they want to talk about something else,” acknowledges that both elements coexist.

The word “so” is where action happens. It creates a bridge between acceptance and moving forward. “I’m on vacation, and it’s raining, so I’m going to appreciate these waterfalls.” Or, “I have an agenda with my client, and they want to talk about something else, so I’m going to focus on their concerns.”

We can’t control every twist and turn—just as we can’t change the weather on a rafting trip—but we can control how we respond. By shifting our language from “but” to “and” to “so,” we not only accept what happens but also pave the way for meaningful action. In financial planning, this mindset empowers us to adapt, build trust with our clients, and craft strategies that respond to real-life changes. Ultimately, it’s not the unexpected wave itself that defines our journey, but how we ride it.

Want to Learn More?

Money Quotient trains financial professionals in the True Wealth process and helps them implement the concepts into their practices. The first step is to learn about the Fundamentals of True Wealth Planning.